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New Year + New Beginnings

January 6, 2017

Hopeful. Ambitious. Ready.

2017, I pray that you are a year of breakthroughs, laughter, and boundless joy.

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Mattea Gernentz

Mattea Gernentz

A young poet and blogger whose heart belongs to Paris.

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@thewhimsicalowl

On the playground, with uplifted arms grasping at clouds and feet enthusiastically sweeping through the air, we would dream and ask many questions — the full-time occupation of children. “What would your superpower be?” “Invisibility.” I would respond with surety each and every time. Not the ability to fly, super speed, or telekinesis like the others. In my childhood, I valued being unseen, received a thrill from going especially unnoticed. Life was a game of hide and seek, and I am as competitive as they come. Fall break was not nearly long enough to sink into a pattern of rest, and yet my heart leaps at the thought of wandering Chicago again (even as my feet tiredly stumble along). So, I sit in this airport terminal and eagerly await the inevitable approach from the air, the view of the city illuminated like firefly circuitry. Lately, I cannot help but admire how the city is unapologetically alive. It stretches and yawns, sprawls and shouts, feverishly dances and then weeps. With wonder, I observe its brashness and sharp edges and slivered refractions and, transfixed, crane my neck to better gaze upon the breadth of its cold arches and pinnacles. I try my best to memorize it, piece by piece. I am slowly but surely translating its fierce unspoken realities into pocket-sized lessons. I have decided that I want to emulate it — the city, that is. With every passing day, I am learning to occupy space, unlearning fear and doubt. I forswear the allure of invisibility. I recant all past perfunctory responses of a paltry "good" or "fine" when I was really feeling anything but. The nature of life is an oscillation between the ecstatic and the terrible, and no one has ever gotten anywhere worthwhile by denying these extremes exist. I try to leave my blemishes bare for the wind to kiss and hum in public places if a song plays that brings me joy and laugh when I forget an umbrella. When I die, I hope that I will be known as being recklessly kind, for laughing loudly, for living well, for writing volumes and volumes that may mean everything or nothing or maybe something in-between, for traveling the world, for occupying a space and making it vibrant. For being visible.

Slipping into autumn hues with grace, / realizing each memory has its place / in molding, shaping, creating. / Even in the waiting, / He is ever near. / Across the clear / azure expanse, I hear Him call: / a faint beckoning sweet. Whatever may befall / means nothing to pledged pilgrim feet. ---------------------------------------------------- Be still, my soul. Abundant are the promises of the Lord in the story of every season.

• ABUNDANCE • The long-awaited word arrived altogether subtly yet undeniably, like the crescent tide nipping at one's sandy toes and then rapidly retreating; it was there and then soon flitted away again. I would forget, dismiss as happenstance, and continue to pray over and over for the discernment to discover a word that would encapsulate this new season... until ABUNDANCE curiously started to echo everywhere through God's immense patience and providence. The word was accompanied by a significant weight in my chest that I couldn't quite place. Abundance of worries. Abundance of boxes to pack and unpack. Abundance of miles from home. Abundance of pressing commitments scrawled in my planner. Surely ABUNDANCE was meant to beckon in a time of plenty, a time of celebration, a time of rest, so why was my new word becoming so seemingly twisted? In the past few days, I have begun to realize that the two juxtaposing manifestations of ABUNDANCE can, and often do, strikingly coexist. In my return to Wheaton, I have already experienced such profound joy and belonging amidst emerging freedoms and challenges. Abundance of mercy. Abundance of blessings. Abundance of tiny victories. Abundance of voices lifted to worship a mighty, faithful God. So, I lay down my abundance of stumblings, overwrought trains of thought, and to-do lists at His feet and watch His ABUNDANCE unfold, heightened in its magnificence and more ardently received as a result of having intimately experienced its lesser counterpart. • "You crown the year with Your goodness, and Your paths drip with abundance." Psalm 65:11 (NKJV) •

I am so unspeakably grateful to have had the privilege of calling @ashleycatanzarite and @carolinecatanzarite some of my very dearest friends for over a dozen shimmering years! We have navigated major periods of transition and heralded the comings and goings of an assortment of seasons. Our sisterhood has strengthened us immeasurably and, by grace, has called us towards greater degrees of flourishing and growth than we could have ever achieved on our own! I feel such joy and profound gratitude when I reflect on all the memories we can now fondly laugh about together and await, with eager expectation, the abundant adventures that God has planned for us in the future. When I knocked on your front door all those years ago, and you compared me to a living, breathing Nicki American Girl doll, who would've ever thought that Caroline and I would be roommates, supporting each other during our first year at Wheaton College, or that Ashley and I would live together for two months this summer, cooking and baking constantly and vulnerably sharing the Lord's latest etchings on our hearts and minds? You two are a blessing both to behold and befriend, and we complement each other even better than the rosewood, vanilla, and coconut scents in my new candle. ✨🕯✨

Journeying to the Holy LandsDecember 29th, 2018

11 days to go.

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"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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